This may be the saddest pre-Valentine’s day post in the history of blogging. If there is one topic that I feel comfortable writing about, it’s dealing with rejection. I could have taken this pre-Valentine’s Day opportunity to write about the things that Paul and I love (Helvetica, baseball, and sausage), what designers do on Valentine’s Day (talk about Helvetica, re-watch the 2008/2009 World Series on their respective DVRs, and eat copious amounts of sausage alone), highlight a cutesy design-related item for your sweetie, or write about the opposite of everything that Valentine’s Day stands for.

I could insert one of the many stories from my past highlighting moments of rejection that led to me being found in a fetal position in the corner of my room days later, but would that be healthy? It could be.

In high school, I was really bad in math, and by really bad I mean that I still count on my fingers while figuring a tip at restaurants. Algebra 2 was going to be the end of me, and based on my first attempt at the ACT, it was going to be the end of my parents’ dream of me going to med school (or to college for that matter). In an attempt to improve my Algebra 2 standings, I secured the assistance of a friend and tutor. If you have ever seen any after-school special or any episode of Saved by the Bell, you know where this is going.

How much she helped me with the Algebra 2, I really don’t remember. I do remember developing a crush on her. Being concerned about Algebra 2 and the need to spend time with her, I was persistent (persistent at asking her out). Much like the algebra we were working on, she was effective at reducing the frequency of the common denominator in our equation. (Note: I just exhausted every bit of math knowledge that I have in that last sentence.) For the non-math types, I was the common denominator. We never made it out beyond a school function or trip to the library, which was pretty good for me. We remained “friends” through high school.

Several years ago I heard about my tutor in the news. She had made quite a name for herself as a blogger (www.dooce.com), gaining national recognition. (Aside: Paul and I have yet to receive the same recognition or notoriety for this blog. Matt Lauer should be calling any time.) I was excited to hear about her success as a blogging-designer mommy and decided to take the opportunity to say hello and catch up. I sent her two emails, and much like my previous advances, I received no response. Rejected again.

Yesterday I was watching Home and Garden Television (I just recently discovered other channels on our TV besides ESPN and MTV) and saw a commercial featuring their new correspondent Heather Armstrong, my tutor, who is obviously continuing to do well for herself. I immediately went to the HGTV website to find out about her new role, and that she now has 1.6 million followers on Twitter (I have 24), and she now has 7,046 fans on her Facebook fan page (we have 340). I am pleased with her success and wish her well.

If you haven’t read her blog you should. Maybe in between reading the 500 comments that her blog gets each day she will catch word of this post and contact me.

In the meantime I’ll be reading the 10-15 emails I get from Paul each day and refreshing my email inbox every three minutes until I hear from her. What else do I have to do? Oh yeah, finish this blog post, watch Sponge Bob Square Pants with my three kids, and pretend like I’m listening intently to my wife all while clicking on the check mail button every three minutes. I deal well with rejection.

Okay, I’m off the couch. When you are working in the field of interpretive design you have to get used to being rejected from time to time. Even the day before yesterday, I received a comment that a certain element of a logo that I was working on was “inventive, though the genius of that decision will likely not be appreciated until long after your death.” The really sad part was that comment was from Paul.

Let’s face it, in most cases gaining approval or receiving a review is a painful process. We are the designers/creators and we know what’s best, right? We don’t want a bunch of wannabes/control-freaks/know-it-alls telling us what our work should look like, right? If I want to eat cereal for dinner and feed it to my children I can do it, right? Whether we are dealing with a logo or a new program as an interpretive designer, we put ourselves out there for interpretation. When you put your heart and soul into your work it can be difficult when it gets shot down or torn apart by folks who are less connected to the process. It can hurt.

So what can you and I do about it? Above all else make sure you can articulate your decisions. It is easy to be critical of something that has nothing backing it up. If you chose a typeface or PowerPoint background that gets challenged or ripped, make sure that you have a reason for choosing it and that you can clearly explain why you chose it and how it is connected to the overall theme and program. If you respond to a question or comment about your decision and you respond with “I thought it looked pretty” be prepared to be ripped. If you respond by saying “I carefully considered the use of a light gray sans serif type to be easily read on the screen when projected against the background that includes hues from the natural environment” you may have more solid ground to stand on. For many, the decisions we make are good and are intuitive but we don’t think about how we would defend our choices if asked. Be prepared to make your case and convince others of what you did. It will also help you make better choices.

You should be prepared with alternatives. This is my favorite approach. You have to realize that people look at things differently based on what prior knowledge that they bring to the table. With this mind you should have options that may appeal to multiple approaches and styles. I am also one of those who likes to include a “sleeper.” This doesn’t involve the use of any animal tranquilizers.

If I email out a proof for review or comments, I don’t give away which one I like the best and I never provide it as the lead option. That way when those reviewing the item see it, you can get honest feedback from them, and it allows them to discover the best option, that you created and intended for them to like in the first place. With that being said, you shouldn’t provide the sabotage approach by providing one great version and two alternative versions that look like Screech created them. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Saved by the Bell is just good television.

Get to know your boundaries. Most of us have to answer to someone. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a boss. That doesn’t mean you have to sell yourself out trying to make someone happy. When working through the creative process know what elements are important to you and which are less important. This will help you keep an open mind to suggestions or changes along with keeping you focused on the end goal, completion.

Has it been three minutes? I’ve got to go check my email.

For those that came here today looking for that Valentine’s Day post highlighting a cutesy design-related item for your sweetie, check out Acme Heartmaker where you can design you own custom message on the well-known Valentine’s Day heart candies. Custom candies can be ordered as well, but since Valentine’s Day is just three days away you may not have time to place an order. But you can create a digital version that you can edit, cut, and paste. Here are a few examples that I would avoid.

Before I get accused of being insenstive…PMS stands for Pantone Matching System.