Flowchart: What football team should I root for?

Sports fans everywhere are thrilled to have their favorite football teams back on the field. But what if you don’t have a favorite team? How do you know who to root for? This handy flowchart will help you decide. (Click to embiggen.)

If you’re more into baseball, you can see our first flowchart here.

This was prepared by Paul Caputo and Shea Lewis for Interpretation By Design. Thanks to neurotic hypermiler Jeremy Soule for his consultation.

15 thoughts on “Flowchart: What football team should I root for?

  1. I was worried that it wouldn’t live up to the server-killing humor of the baseball flow chart.
    I was worried for no reason! Very funny! It definitely made me laugh out loud(especially the Houston jab – even if I don’t cheer for my local teams, I still live here so I’m allowed to laugh).

  2. I come from a country that doesn’t appreciate American Football, but I can certainly learn to love any team that features a golden handle-bar moustache as a logo. It’s part Yosemite Sam, part Chuck Norris.

  3. What do I win for being the first to find the typo in the flowchart? (Of course, I come from a city that knows how to properly spell “Ndamukong”!)

  4. One mistake: Back in 2002 I went to the Eagles’ last regular home game at Veteran’s Stadium vs. Washington. We had signed Jason Baker as a punter as a free agent a couple of weeks before and he left me his game tix (he is a friend of a friend) so we were sitting in the player family section. I turned out that sitting in front of my girlfriend and I were all the members of GWAR (sans costumes and blood). One of the dudes was a huge Redskins fan, wearing a jersey and one of those plastic kiddie Redskin helmets. This chart needs to be adjusted to include Washington along with Oakland of “I was once a member of GWAR”.

    Another interesting tidbit of that game: Tim Hasselbeck was our backup QB for those final 4 or 5 games and I sat next Elizabeth Hasselbeck that game. This was back when she was Survivor-Elizabeth Hasslebeck, not conservative idiot-bitch Elizabeth Hasselbeck so I merely wanted to bang her and not hate-bang her. She asked me about the Fly Eagles Fly song and I taught it to her. She was actually pretty sweet. My girlfriend didn’t like her and thought she was “fake”. As always, girls are always natural enemies in the wild

  5. Y’know, hockey season is coming up soon too…how about yet another flowchart that tells me I shouldn’t be rooting for my favorite team?

  6. It’s a pity the author hasn’t the faintest idea what a real FLOWCHART (q.v) looks like.

    I wonder if (s)he even knows what baseball is really all about.

  7. Pingback: What NFL Team Should I Root For Chart | SportsLOLs

  8. Awesome, but curious how St. Louis knows more about BBQ than Kansas City. KC is where you get the best “wet” BBQ.

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